I am writing to you to tell you first that I’m sorry & truly ashamed for so many things, secondly that you are a wonderful person & mother and lastly that I thank you for putting up with me as a sister and I love you.
Ben & I went for a drive last summer and he asked me why I didn’t like you. I was like Wow he thinks I don’t like her. Then I realized that my actions haven’t demonstrated that I do like you & love you. If those actions don’t show my nephew that I love you, then they sure don’t show you either, hence this letter.
I realized that for so many years it is my own jealousy that has resulted in my not being the sister that I should have been. I was jealous that you were so perfect in our parent’s eyes and I wasn’t. How shallow is that – I’m disgusted with myself now for all of my past actions and I hope that you can accept my apology. I was jealous that Mom & Dad always seemed to love you more. It was their negative comments & comparisons that fostered my jealousy not any action of yours. What I wasn’t thinking was that you were probably receiving many hurtful comments as well. I was only considering myself and for that I am ashamed. I’m so very sorry and I would like more than anything for you to accept my sincerest of apologies.
Had I been a better person over the years this letter shouldn’t need to be written and it’s a shame that it has taken so long. It is as you near the end of your life that you look back and realize what is truly valuable and what you have missed. You are an exceptional person & mother. Thank you for always being good to me even when I didn’t deserve it. I’m sorry that I don’t know you better or share that true “sister” relationship, but I hope that it is not too late and you will give me the chance to make up for all that I have done wrong.
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