FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Media Contacts:
Nora Firestone
(757)705-7174; nfirestone@verizon.net
VIRGINIA BEACH, VA November 26, 2010
Results of the 2010 Effects of Gratitude on the Everyday Experience survey indicate that the gifts that Americans tend to treasure most in a lifetime are those of an intangible, not material, nature.
Of the "gifts" received from others in their lifetime, 76 percent of participants of the survey, sponsored by Hampton Roads-based ThankingOfYou.com, reported that the "most valued" have been of an emotional/mental nature. This number far outweighed those within the other categories, resulting in only eight percent surveyed considering gifts of a "physical" nature most valued, another eight percent reporting "monetary" gifts most valued, four percent perceiving "spiritual" and another four percent considering "material" gifts most valued. The results for the gifts they've given others were close in comparison.
When asked about the "most lasting" gifts received, zero percent reported they were of a "monetary" nature; four percent, "physical"-natured; eight percent "material"; 28 percent "spiritual"; and 60 percent, of an "emotional/mental" nature.
"What the results of this entire survey seem to confirm," said Nora Firestone, journalist and founder of ThankingOfYou.com, the Web-based forum for posting and receiving stories of gratitude (messages of thanks) for the people who've made a difference in our lives, "is that the most cherished gifts are those which create the internal infrastructure for ongoing development of positive characteristics throughout a lifetime.
"Participants who reported having the deepest sense of gratitude for all circumstances in their own lives--including those gifts of virtues that others have given--also reported more of an ability to create and foster successful relationships in their personal and business lives," she added.
This is good news as the holidays approach this economically-challenged season, Firestone said, as gifts of time, attention and kindness are essentially free to give.
"While people who are working less may have seriously tightened their budgets recently, the upside is that many do have more valuable time than before," Firestone explained. "This means that this year, people can--and probably should--consider gifts of their time and attention in addition to or rather than gifts of great monetary value."
Firestone noted that with a bit of intention priceless anecdotes, family stories, virtues and skills can be instilled during this time together with children and that anyone, at any age, can benefit from feeling valued by and connected with others.
"It's this time and attention to better bonding and uplifting experiences that create the gifts of the greatest lasting value--gifts that can be opened again and anew at different stages of one's life as they become newly relevant," Firestone said.
Here, Firestone shares her top ten ideas for meaningful giving on a budget
For kids:
- Instead
of movie theater passes, make a plan to see a movie together. "While two tickets cost more than one, we
may feel obligated to spend even more on a gift card than the actual cost
of a movie because we've become accustomed to recognizing the monetary
value of a gift card as the important thing," Firestone said. "In fact, the cost of one adult and one
child's ticket--especially in the afternoon hours--and a bucket of popcorn
can cost less than whatever monetary amount one might feel obligated to
purchase on a single card."
- Teach/foster
a timeless talent or skill. "Past
generations of adults spent a lot of time teaching children valuable
skills, like sewing, building, playing an instrument, cooking, inventing,
you name it," Firestone said. "Hone
in on the innate talents and real interests of the children in your life
and design a plan to help them unearth and develop those passions and
talents in a fun, encouraging way. If it's something you do well, share your
talent. But either way, make sure
it's something the child wants
to develop. The gift idea here is
fun, encouragement and self-discovery, not undue stress or a sense of
obligation. Some kids might want to
explore a series of different talents.
Follow their lead-they inherently know the value in doing that,
even if it's not yet obvious to the adults."
- Keep a
running diary for the child throughout the year and present it to him/her
at the holidays. "This is a great
idea--a true treasure for the child who receives these annual logs of
significant events, big and small, and has the ability to re-read them and
reflect at various stages of his or her life," Firestone said. For young children, the diaries can
include lots of photos, hand-drawn pictures and even letters s/he has
written, Firestone advised. "At all
ages, include direct quotes by the child; transformative events in his or
her life; your own and others' observations of what makes him or her
special and unique and how he or she has handled challenges and is
maturing; and your personal sentiments of love, respect and admiration for
the child," she added. Each new
year, select a new diary with a design that reflects the child's
personality at that time.
- Invent
a game together. Take the time to
explore ideas and develop and design a game that kids and adults can play
together. "Craft the pieces,
boards, cards, or whatever items the game requires, together," Firestone
said. "Write the instructions and
design any graphics involved, then created them on the computer or by
hand. Then plan a day to unveil the
game to family and friends and play it as a group. Make it an event, with favorite snacks
and people; take photos or video of the big reveal. If it goes over really well, and you
think you might be on to something special, consider developing it further
in the coming year together."
For adults:
- If
you're a builder or contractor of some sort, with little or no work this
month, offer to teach a best friend, family member, neighbor or business
associate how to do a specific home improvement project. "The recipient can supply the materials
and you spend time assisting him or her while teaching valuable skills
with which he or she can accomplish this important goal immediately and
then accomplish similar goals on future projects," Firestone said. "Every time your friend admires the
project, he or she will likely recall the heart, talent, wisdom and muscle
you contributed; it's another ‘bonding' thing." Be sure to keep your own insurance in tact,
though, as unexpected legal issues make terrible stocking stuffers.
- Accomplish
a small project for the benefit of a loved one. "Maybe it's the home office that needs
an organizational overhaul, her car that needs detailing, his favorite old
chair that needs new stuffing and a cover," Firestone suggested. "Think about what projects your loved
one would love to accomplish but hasn't been able to, and choose one that
would make the biggest difference in his or her life at this moment."
- Embark
on a positive mission that reflects the values and passion of both you and
a loved one and give him or her an honorary or active place in that
mission. "That place could be as
obligation-free as adding his or her name and ‘spirit' to the mission with
the invitation to step in to any aspect of the project as he or she is
ready and able, to establishing a more active role for this person to
play," Firestone explained. Some
examples: naming the newest fabulous blend in your coffee house after this
person or establishing a grant or fund in his or her name. "This can be an especially great
opportunity for someone who's retired or who has disabilities," Firestone
noted. "The important thing in any
case is that it's presented and received as a gift, as a respected place
in something meaningful, not as an unwanted obligation."
- If you're
the type to point out the negative, refrain. Instead, keep track of all the good
things your loved one/s do and offer up the lists as gifts of genuine
appreciation. "If your husband's
loading the dishwasher, bite your lip if you're inclined to point out that
the bowl won't get clean if positioned right behind the cake platter,"
Firestone said. "He'll discover it
on his own--or not--once the dishes are done. The more important thing is that he's
acted to relieve someone else of this duty. So add that to your ongoing secret list
of things your family does that add value to your life in some way." On each of the eight nights of Hanukkah
or twelve days of Christmas, present findings from your list to those
people, praising their kind acts and letting them know why you appreciated
them, Firestone suggested. "Meanwhile,
you've been giving another gift to them all along, having intentionally
practiced turning your own negative thoughts and observations into
positive and constructive ones-a fine, loving way to interact in any
environment," she added. This can
be extended to co-workers and others with whom we interact daily as well.
- True,
meaningful stories of gratitude (messages of thanks), highlighting and
honoring the unique contributions of those who've made a difference in our
lives: "We call these the ‘gifts of a lifetime' at ThankingOfYou.com,"
Firestone said. "They're
life-affirming and provide valuable insight to a person's true impact in
this big world. Often, and I think
now more than ever in recent history, people are searching their futures
for a sense of life's purpose. What
many don't realize is that ‘life's purpose' has as much or more to do with
who we already are, who we've
already been, to the people in
our lives every day," she explained.
"Focusing on the goodness and greatness in a person--and every
person has it in him--is an essential and extremely nurturing act that,
when done genuinely and with attention to details about the impact that
person has had on others, is a liberating, validating and rejuvenating
gift like no other. It's something
the recipient holds dear; something that tells him or her that those seemingly 'small' acts and efforts did not go unnoticed or unappreciated; something
with which a person who's now searching for direction can begin to chart a
new and distinctive course based on the unique insight to what others most
value about him or her."
A story of gratitude can take anywhere from 20 or 30 minutes to a few hours over the course of several days to write or video tape, and can easily be posted and viewed, free of charge, at ThankingOfYou.com. "It's simply a letter to recognize a person's contributions, affirm the value of the contributions in the life of the person writing the letter, and share why those contributions still matter today and, perhaps, how the letter-writer plans to let that gift live on through her for the benefit of others," Firestone said. "Not only is it a special gift for the recipient, but it's a preview of his or her legacy; a lasting, public testimony to the life of that person--one that extended family and friends can read and enjoy for generations. This makes a great gift for teachers and ‘do-good' organizations--such as hospitals, scholarship funds, charities, rescue squads and religious and mentorship programs--as well," she noted. "The added gift to them is broader visibility and genuine, well-thought-out true testimonials--something money can't buy."
ThankingOfYou.com is the free Web-based forum for posting and receiving stories of gratitude (messages of thanks) to recognize, affirm and honor the people who make a difference in the lives of others. Established in early 2008 and launched in '09, it was inspired by Nora Firestone's own desire and unsuccessful search to thank two elementary school teachers from Plainedge, Long Island, for the "little" things they'd each done decades ago that left a lasting, positive impact on her as she grew. Firestone, a freelance journalist, lives in Virginia Beach, Va. with her husband and three children. She is available to speak with groups and can be contacted at (757) 705-7174 or nfirestone@verizon.net.
Who have you been meaning to thank? Who on Earth has been Thanking of You? Gratitude affirms life. Express yours at www.ThankingOfYou.com
